CRAZY FROG ARCADE RACER / CRAZY FROG RACER 2
2018 AUG 28
(PC / PS2, 2006-2007)
If you can remember this fucking frog, you can understand my pure seething hate for this stupid thing.
Here's my response to hearing about Crazy Frog, or the Annoying Thing, for the first time: "Thanks, I hate it."
This game is painful. It's a meh kart knockoff, but this game is PAINFUL. It should be illegal for me to own this, because I'm pretty sure the music that was made with the Crazy Frog IP was used in some shady torture chamber by SOMEBODY. To play this is to turn on something meh, but then scrape the bottom of the barrel and then put it in your mouth. And it's not a fresh barrel, there were apples in there, and now it's mouldy as hell.
For starters, let's get this out of the way. Crazy Frog had good music. The most important word out of all of these would be 'had', because 3 albums of his bullshit destroying decent tracks have made me want to kill myself in a way that can be best summarized as "mildly uncomfortable degloving". Don't look that up, it's exactly what you think it is, and I'm not going to be held responsible for you understanding my metaphor. Literally all the music in this game is remixed eurobeat mixed with the origin of Crazy Frog, i.e. pitched-up sounds of a man making an impression of an F1 racer. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.